The Hammer

The Hammer, Vol. XXXVIII

Is (rumored) rain on the plain, plainly beneficial?
October 5, 2022 at 5:00 a.m.

Executive Editor

Just In on the Radio: New term of art in weather forecasting seems to be "beneficial rain." OK, a bit here and there certainly would qualify under present circumstances. But when does the rain become not beneficial?

And When That Happens: Is there, like, a memo issued or something? Those of us in the news business need to know.

Don't Answer That Because: Also just in on the interwebs is news that the precariously perched, west-edge residential hall at Western, which looks very much from its community-facing rear like either an A) Jenga stack of oversized shipping containers or B) Midwestern U.S. state prison, has won not one, but two architectural design awards

Which Makes us Wonder: Is there any kind of a mandatory recount? 

Speaking of Chickens: We were all atwitter in the newsroom last week when Riley Sweeney, Ferndale's communications manager, accepted B. Hammer's challenge to drink, from a glass, the water he had previously deemed clean enough to drink, from the city's wastewater treatment plant. 

Right After That: Sweeney said he would check with Public Works folks to set up a demonstration effluent guzzle featuring not only himself, but Hizzoner Greg Hansen, the city's mayor.

And Then: Crickets. Nothing but. Surely there are just scheduling issues, and we're about to get some suggested sip dates. But rest assured, as soon as this is all worked out, we'll be there with bells on and cameras aimed when this ever comes to pass, and share all the deets with readers.

Raise Your Hand: If you went and moved your car last week in anticipation of the City of Sub-dude finally deploying its attack fleet of two parking attendants. And then ... nothing. What if it was all a clever deke? Don't answer that either. 

Speaking of Hiring: Sezhere Hizzoner Seth Fleetwood, taking time out from watching the city's ... um, flow through dark shades, has set a new city budget that includes 76 new hires. Sounds good as long as one of them can run a street paver back and forth, back and forth, back and ... 

And of Money: Overheard among the State Street news corps: Someone needs to ask about the tyranny of small change, i.e., the penny. What is the purpose of the penny? It costs 2.1 cents to make one. A lot of us are (please ignore this, U.S. Marshals) rumored to be just tossing them in the trash. Please make it stop. Round up, round down. Breathe!

The Hammer is swung on Wednesdays, and updated when the piggy bank is full. 

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