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The Hammer, Vol. XLIII

Plowin' through the news as usual

By Ron Judd Executive Editor

Probably a Sore Subject By Now, But: City of Ferndale communications and Broken Promises Director Riley Sweeney has now admitted to multiple sources that he is trying to weasel out of his previous pledge to drink treated water from the Ferndale poop plant effluent pipe. This is a verified fact. We continue to wait for him to honor his previous public pledge to avoid eternal embarrassment.

Quoting Here: Arlo Guthrie in “Alice’s Restaurant:” We’re not proud. Or tired.

Speaking of Ferndale: The city two years ago asked for help naming its snow plows and received more than 2,000 suggestions. Winners: Golden Eagle, Plowtallica, SanderYacht and Jam On. Is it too late to add Water Weasel?

We’re Not Saying It’s Tough to Hire Cops These Days, But: Hizzoner Seth Fleetwood actually says in a piece on this page that if you know anybody, send ‘em his way. At least the dude’s trying. 

Hammer Needs to Know: As a followup to CDN’s interesting piece about local service clubs working to attract younger members: Do you have an experience with showing up to scope out a local service club that struck you as odd? Like being asked to profess a belief in God or swearing to have never been a member of the Communist Party? (This actually happened to the Hammer just a couple years ago.) If so, please advise for an upcoming column.

It Has to be Said: That green/blue/wavy-line “Bellingham flag,” an explainer for which is found in our news pages this very week, is just wrong. It doesn’t work. We’re sorry, but this is just unquestionably true. Let’s treat it like the treatment plant and start over from scratch. 

While We’re At It: Same with the “iconic” Acid Ball. (First rule of iconography: If you have to call it “iconic,” it isn’t.) Somehow the winning project to repurpose the big ball, out of a number of worthy entries for things such as a mondo sundial, was the one where they sprayed the ball with some Highway Striping Diamond Road Snot (Patent Pending) and hoped it would look cool at night. It doesn’t. Let’s try again. 

Calendar Update: Yesterday was Giving Tuesday. Today is Buyer’s Remorse Wednesday. Followed by How Do I Cash Out My Vacation Balance Thursday. Friday, you’re on your own.

And Finally: A CDN Power of Press Update, and follow-up to the fog line striping on Samish Way: Our business scribbler, Frank Catalano (who, for the record, fears the snow), recently posted online a pic of a pair of “COMING SOON” and “$7.99” signs for the new Costco car wash. A short time later, the sign with wash details and the price was gone. Hmm. Are they having second thoughts? Is this the specter of suds inflation? Or has the sign, like everything else around here during the past week, just blown away to Sedro?

At Any Rate: Assuming his post was involved in a price change, Frank has been directed by the CDN Car Wash Ethics Panel to use his newfound power of influence only for the good, such as leveraging a free hotdog for customers who pay the now-promised freight of $7.99 per wash. This story is not developing and probably won’t be updated. 

The Hammer is swung on Wednesdays and when the driveway has been shoveled.

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