The Hammer

The Hammer, Vol. XXVI

A bud by any other (bureaucratic) name
July 13, 2022 at 5:45 a.m.

Executive Editor

Wherefore Art Thou, Mary Jane? This just in from our crack Business, Work and Bud reporter, Frank Catalano: The Washington State Liquor and Cannabis Board has adopted a permanent rule replacing the term “marijuana” with “cannabis” throughout all rules and laws issued by the LCB. You're probably way ahead of The Hammer here ... it was high time.

Bud Seriously: Issuing the proclamation for said rule change was Jeff Kildahl, the state's “Cannabis Policy and Rules Coordinator.” Which sounds like someone whose business card and bags would be getting the Full 45-Minute Crevice Search at TSA screening right in front of The Hammer.

Batten Down the Hype Hatches: It's officially Terrifying, Fearsome, Murdering, Unstoppable, Lethal, Fire-Breathing, Satanic, Radioactive, Smoke-Belching, Vaccine-Resistant, Clarence-Thomas-Clerking, Foul-Mouthed, Hyper-Farting, Asian Giant Hornet Season, with updates coming soon in panting gasps from local TV stations and perhaps the New York Times as soon as the next nest is verified in or around Blaine. 

Not to Worry: The Horrific Hornets prefer to munch on the heads of bees but generally don't attack people unless one of them gets into a foul mood, or it gets hot outside, or it's Thursday. In any case, there is little fear in the office over here on State Street. The Hammer has a tennis racket and the swing is already pre-programmed. 

Speaking of Natural Wonders: A special “Buck Supermoon” was up in the sky this week. Here's what you need to know: 

Biosolidified: The Hammer keeps watching this Post Point project — now set to produce ... biosolids of unknown disposition! — to see if, when the, uh, sludge all settles, the longtime dog park might still exist there in some form. (Keep watching the upper right corner of those maps). Best answer so far: Maybe. 

And Finally: Hate to cut this short, but the road to Artist Point is said to be open. Someone has to find out.

The Hammer is swung on Wednesdays and updated as needed.

Have a news tip? Email or Call/Text 360-922-3092



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