ARIES (March 21–April 19): I’ve been doing interviews in support of my new book “Astrology Is Real: Revelations from My Life as an Oracle.” Now and then, I’m asked this question: “Do you actually believe all that mystical woo-woo you write about?” I respond diplomatically, though inwardly I’m screaming, “How profoundly hypocritical I would be if I did not believe in the ‘mystical woo-woo’ I have spent my adult studying and teaching!” But here’s my polite answer: I love and revere the venerable spiritual philosophies that some demean as “mystical woo-woo.” I see it as my job to translate those subtle ideas into well-grounded, practical suggestions that my readers can use to enhance their lives. Everything I just said is the prelude for your assignment, Aries: Work with extra focus to actuate your high ideals and deep values in the ordinary events of your daily life. As the American idioms advise: Walk your talk and practice what you preach.
TAURUS (April 20–May 20): I’m happy to see the expanding use of service animals. Initially, there were guide dogs to assist humans with imperfect vision. Later there came mobility animals for those who need aid in moving around and hearing animals for those who can’t detect ringing doorbells. In recent years, emotional support animals have provided comfort for people who benefit from mental health assistance. I foresee a future in which all of us feel free and eager to call on the nurturing of companion animals. You may already have such friends, Taurus. If so, I urge you to express extra appreciation for them in the coming weeks. Ripen your relationship. And if not, now is an excellent time to explore the boost you can get from loving animals.
GEMINI (May 21–June 20): Gemini author Chuck Klosterman jokes, “I eat sugared cereal almost exclusively. This is because I’m the opposite of a ‘no-nonsense’ guy. I’m an ‘all-nonsense’ guy.” The coming weeks will be a constructive and liberating time for you to experiment with being an all-nonsense person, dear Gemini. How? Start by temporarily suspending any deep attachment you have to being a serious, hyper-rational adult doing staid, weighty adult things. Be mischievously committed to playing a lot and having maximum fun. Dancing sex! Ice cream uproars! Renegade fantasies! Laughter orgies! Joke romps! Giddy brainstorms and euphoric heart-storms!
CANCER (June 21–July 22): Cancerian comedian Gilda Radner said, “I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.” Let’s use that as a prime metaphor for you in the coming weeks. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you will be wise to opt for what feels good over what merely looks good. You will make the right choices if you are committed to loving yourself more than trying to figure out how to get others to love you. Celebrate highly functional beauty, dear Cancerian. Exult in the clear intuitions that arise as you circumvent self-consciousness and revel in festive self-love.
LEO (July 23–Aug. 22): The amazingly creative Leo singer-songwriter Tori Amos gives this testimony: “All creators go through a period where they’re dry and don’t know how to get back to the creative source. Where is that waterfall? At a certain point, you say, ‘I’ll take a rivulet.’” Her testimony is true for all of us in our quest to find what we want and need. Of course, we would prefer to have permanent, unwavering access to the waterfall. But that’s not realistic. Besides, sometimes the rivulet is sufficient. And if we follow the rivulet, it may eventually lead to the waterfall.
VIRGO (Aug. 23–Sept. 22): Do you perform experiments on yourself? I do on myself. I formulate hypotheses about what might be healthy for me, then carry out tests to gather evidence about whether they are. A recent one was: Do I feel my best if I eat five small meals per day or three bigger ones? Another: Is my sleep most rejuvenating if I go to bed at 10 p.m. and wake up at 7 a.m. or if I sleep from midnight to 9 a.m.? I recommend you engage in such experiments in the coming weeks. Your body has many clues and revelations it wants to offer you.
LIBRA (Sept. 23–Oct. 22): Take a few deep, slow breaths. Let your mind be a blue sky where a few high clouds float. Hum your favorite melody. Relax as if you have all the time in the world to be whoever you want to be. Fantasize that you have slipped into a phase of your cycle when you are free to act as calm and unhurried as you like. Imagine you have access to resources in your secret core that will make you stable and solid and secure. Now read this Mary Oliver poem aloud: “You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.”
SCORPIO (Oct. 23–Nov. 21): An Oklahoma woman named Mary Clamswer used a wheelchair from age 19 to 42 because multiple sclerosis made it hard to use her legs. Then a miracle happened. During a thunderstorm, she was hit by lightning. The blast not only didn’t kill her; it cured the multiple sclerosis. Over the subsequent months, she recovered her ability to walk. Now I’m not saying I hope you will be hit by a literal bolt of healing lightning, Scorpio, nor do I predict any such thing. But I suspect a comparable event or situation that may initially seem unsettling could ultimately bring you blessings.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22–Dec. 21): What are your favorite mind-altering substances? Coffee, tea, chocolate, sugar or tobacco? Alcohol, pot, cocaine or opioids? Psilocybin, ayahuasca, LSD or MDMA? Others? All the above? Whatever they are, the coming weeks will be a favorable time to re-evaluate your relationship with them. Consider whether they are sometimes more hurtful than helpful, or vice versa; and whether the original reasons that led you to them are still true; and how your connection with them affects your close relationships. Ask other questions, too! P.S.: I don’t know what the answers are. My goal is simply to inspire you to take an inventory.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22–Jan. 19): In his book “Meditations for Miserable People Who Want to Stay That Way,” Dan Goodman says, “It’s not that I have nothing to give, but rather that no one wants what I have.” If you have ever been tempted to entertain dour fantasies like that, I predict you will be purged of them in the coming weeks and months. Maybe more than ever before, your influence will be sought by others. Your viewpoints will be asked for. Your gifts will be desired, and your input will be invited. I trust you won’t feel overwhelmed.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20–Feb. 18): William James (1842–1910) was a paragon of reason and logic. So influential were his books about philosophy and psychology that he is regarded as a leading thinker of the 19th and 20th centuries. On the other hand, he was eager to explore the possibilities of supernatural phenomena like telepathy. He even consulted a trance medium named Leonora Piper. James said, “If you wish to upset the law that all crows are black, it is enough if you prove that one crow is white. My white crow is Mrs. Piper.” I bring this to your attention, Aquarius, because I suspect you will soon discover a white crow of your own. As a result, longstanding beliefs may come into question; a certainty could become ambiguous; an incontrovertible truth may be shaken. This is a good thing!
PISCES (Feb. 19–March 20): If we hope to cure our wounds, we must cultivate a focused desire to be healed. A second essential is to be ingenious in gathering the resources we need to get healed. Here’s the third requirement: We must be bold and brave enough to scramble up out of our sense of defeat as we claim our right to be vigorous and whole again. I wish all these powers for you in the coming weeks.
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Homework: What if you could heal a past trauma? How would you start?