The Hammer

The Hammer, Vol. LIX

A BLT, with a side 'o shame
April 6, 2023 at 5:00 a.m.

Executive Editor

New Peak Bellingham Moment: Chip Shaming! Not making this up. The other day at a local sandwich shop, a top CDN official was asked: “Chips with that sandwich?” When said orderer hesitated for a couple seconds, she was asked: “Are you going to eat the chips, or just throw them away?” 

To Which We Can Only Say: Whoa, cowboy! Step away from those rosemary loaves and take a deep breath.

Speaking of Shaming: We all got a hearty laugh over the City of Bellingham’s Snow-Plow Sale April Fool’s release, purportedly authored by a communications intern, “Jon Rudd.” Whoever that guy is, he deserves a healthy raise, perhaps lifetime street parking privileges, and an historic special exemption to required garbage service by Prime Waterfront Real Estate Garbage Solutions, Inc. 

Having Said That: We have inside info that said person would settle for some new pavement over by the Samish Way overpass. His struts and rack-and-pinion system, not to mention front wheel on the e-bike, would be forever grateful.

Also Fooling: Props to the City of Ferndale’s similar release on dispatching a spy balloon to keep tabs on what’s up in Lynden. Well played, people!

Real-Life Version: Time it would take for an actual Ferndale spy balloon to be shot down on a Lynden overflight: About 90 seconds, give or take a few initial birdshot near-misses. 

Overheard at Depot Square Market’s Opening Day: Person bearing resemblance to Hizzoner Seth Fleetwood, near probiotic drink stand, sip-sharing a beverage and then joking about having "cooties." This followed by a general plea to someone filming nearby: “Please don’t post that anywhere!”

On the Latter: A reasonable request, given all due consideration in our shop. We’ll give it more thought.

The Hammer is swung on Wednesdays and wanders online on Thursdays. Please recycle him.

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