The Hammer

The (Spooky!) Hammer, Vol. XLI

Please adhere to the Prime (Bike Lane) Directive
October 26, 2022 at 5:00 a.m.

By RON JUDD
Executive Editor

OK, So Look: If God rode a bicycle, he/she/they would be living in the ‘Ham and commuting downtown daily on an e-rider, in a soggy Carhartt jacket.

No Question About It Really: Behind every driving (sorry, not sorry) political push-shove in the city, the principle of Promotion and Enhancement of Bike Lanes At Any/All Cost is the Prime Directive.

Not That This Is a Bad Thing: Unless said lightly populated lanes take away general flow of traffic, commerce and other stuff stubbornly necessary for capitalism and public life. We get it; it's the future! Moonbeams and toe clips, etc., etc.

Unless Possibly: If you’re a person living in a portable domicile down on Cornwall, where planned installation of bike lanes (meeting the urgent need for two-wheeled access to the waterfront, which already exists literally everywhere else on the waterfront, where the current prominent public feature is ... a bike track) is about to shove RV dwellers off-site and into other spaces and/or neighborhoods in the coming months. 

Just Saying: It’s all gotta be great news for the bike-commute industry, a thriving enterprise in these parts about four months out of the year. Praise be to the bipedalists!

Full Disclosure: Hammer has a bike, likes to bike, occasionally rides it around town and actually appreciates bike lanes due to the large number of automo-blowhards, etc., etc. But c’mon, folks. A little pragmatism goes a long way in public cred for planning processes — assuming that matters to anyone at the Lottie Street Public Funds Dispensary.

Speaking of Your Tax Dollars at Work: The unseemly spectacle of the Port of Bellingham’s thriving new waterfront industry — heavy (scrap) metal-scrunching, 24/7, right within sight/sound of sprouting condos, rich folks’ homes on South Hill, and soon, a “luxury boutique hotel” — went positively global this week when one of B. Hammer’s inspirations, acerbic comedian Lewis Black, dished on it via a note from a show attendee at the Mount Baker Theatre on Sunday, which was broadcast on the interwebs.

Proving that Once Again: We have an enduring penchant to make, and stay on, the big stage for all the wrong reasons. 

Couldn’t Help Notice: The Port’s public response to noise complaints about the Scrap Heap: Sorry/not sorry. Try earplugs! Always on the forefront of effective public communications, that group. 

Just For Balance Here: As our own pages demonstrate, tons of “spooky” faux-holiday activities around the NW corner this weekend, from drink specials to allegedly haunted-haunts guides. The Hammer is prepared to make famous the first local enterprise to put on a Spooky Tire Sale, Frightful Composting Class or Haunted Mental Health Seminar. Make our day.


The Hammer is swung on Wednesdays, or on other haunted special occasions.

Have a news tip? Email newstips@cascadiadaily.com or Call/Text 360-922-3092

e-Edition


e-edition

Register for email newsletters

* indicates required
Preferences:

Latest Stories


HEALTH
Cutting-edge: Controlled ketamine therapy can open, heal the mind
Two Bellingham clinics seek to treat mental health disorders

FOOTBALL
Lynden triumphs over North Kitsap, repeats as 2A champions
Lions defeat Vikings 31-24 via thrilling game-winning drive

SOCCER
WWU women outlast West Chester for national soccer title
Vikings win second national championship in program history

FOOTBALL
1A state title slips away from Mount Baker
Mountaineers surrender 3 fourth-quarter TDs in 35-20 loss to Royal

SOCCER
Netherlands eliminates US in round of 16 at World Cup
USMNT takes a 3-1 loss