The Hammer

The Hammer, Vol. XVIII

O, Canada: Can you spare a hectare of baby formula?
May 18, 2022 at 5:45 a.m.

Executive Editor

Formula None: It seems readily apparent that this ongoing U.S. baby formula shortage could easily be solved with a bit of southerly flow from the Strategic Baby Formula Reserves of our “friends” in Canada. Milk for milk. Even Steven. Is that happening? Nooo, it is not.

Seriously: One would think that spotting us a bit of formula is the least that Maple Leaf Nation can do in appreciation for all the cut-rate milk Canadians have trucked north over the border after successful raids of the Bellingham Costco over the years. Be better, Canada.

Breaking News from Up on the Hill: Western Washington University (motto: “Your Tax Dollars at Work-ish”) has issued a "New Policy on Developing, Maintaining and Cancelling University Policies.”

Not Making That Up: You can read all about it here (note: STUPOR WARNING) in a series of apparently related, although universally incomprehensible, PDFs, produced by the university’s Monty Python College of Humanities, InHumanities and Mind-Bending Balderdash.

One Quibble: The note accompanying this important Update to the Policy on Policies indicates that the newly-revised Policy on Policies is “now effective.” The Hammer is pretty sure they meant, “in effect.” Two different things, especially in this case.

Verifiable Scientific Facts Department: If you could store it in a fuel cell, all the energy created among local Ds second-guessing WTA’s recent, maybe-hybrid, maybe-all-electric order for eight buses from Gillig would be sufficient to power an electric trolley to Lynden and back once a week from now until 2035. 

Schmear Campaign, Cont.: Quite the news among local carbo-loaders, this new bagel shop down the road from us on State Street. It’s clearly the biggest bagel news in town since that memorable day when The Bagelry finally caved to years (decades?) of demands for a toaster.

Train (Not) a’Comin’: Amtrak let slip last week that its Cascades train between Seattle and Vancouver (pee stop in Bellingham) might not resume until the rail line can find and train enough personnel, which might be December. 

Since You’re Asking: No, Amtrak did not specify a year.

Withering Heights: Last week the editor here, whose name escapes The Hammer, tried to get cute with a print column headline that wound up reading, “Wither Cascadia?” He was attempting to pun around with the old expression, “Whither (BLANK)?” and thought “wither” would be fun as the subject was withering regionalism. But as it turns out, nobody but The Hammer and three old Fairhaven hippies even recognize the term anymore, and a couple of folks thought it was a typo. So, SORRY. A little. 

And Finally, Some MS Office Gossip: The Redmond software colossus plans to “nearly double” its budget for employee salary increases and boost the range of stock compensation it gives some workers by at least 25%, Bloomberg reports. All we want is for one of them to get rich and content enough to figure out how Sharepoint is supposed to work with OneDrive.

The Hammer is swung on Wednesdays and updated as needed.

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