The Hammer, Vol. XX

Hey, We’re Waiting For the Bus: The Hammer has been standing at the downtown WTA transfer station since early Monday morning.

In Truth: Late in the day, The Hammer learned that the bus does not run on Memorial Day.

Which Begs the Question: Why not? Do people stop needing to move about town on holidays? How are they supposed to get to the Memorial Day Parade?

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah: We know that was Saturday. The Hammer was there, both memorially and physically.

Back to WTA: We’d hate to say that one of our reporters walked three miles to work on Monday. But one of our workers walked three miles to work on Monday, and we’re all about the unvarnished truth.

We Kid the WTA Folks — A Little: But seriously, doesn’t the local transit agency have about $20 mil sitting in the bank thanks to the largesse of federal taxpayers whose (cough, cough) able representatives allotted boatloads of such funds as pandemic relief for public agencies that arguably didn’t even need it? 

And Further: The Hammer knows it’s not ideal to have buses rolling around mostly empty for a full day. How about an electric golf cart? Rickshaw? E-scooter? Miniature Italian donkey? 

Meanwhile, Over on the Lettered Streets: Folks opposed to a proposed new 300- to 400-bed shelter for homeless people actually said the quiet parts out loud (as is all the rage nationally, but here?) recently when they wrote to City Hall opposing the building and literally said: “It’s not a NIMBY issue. It’s a NIABY — Not In Anyone’s Backyard — issue. It’s unconscionable to foist this on any residents and businesses.”

To Which The Hammer Can Only Say: WOW. But that’s why it’s called free speech.

By the Way: The Hammer hates to be a stickler for such things. (He does not like to cut into the self-assigned workload of late-night former English teachers with active email tendencies.) But aren’t all streets everywhere technically “lettered streets?” Just saying. 

Note to All Hardy Frosty-Topped Oldsters in Ski to Sea 2022: We see you. Way to go, people. Now go back to your Vat ‘o Advil and remote-controlled foot massager. 

And Note to Everyone Else: Great to see S2S back. It’s the one time the entire community comes together to do something besides get turned away from Zane Burger at 7:03 p.m., or complain about Fairhaven parking.

Early Candidate for Accuracy-in-Headline Award: Our story last week about the “soul-sucking” May weather. It’s in tune with two of The Hammer’s favorite journalistic traits: Visceral but accurate.

And Finally: The Washington State Patrol says drivers are increasingly refusing to stop for troopers, in what patrol veterans are calling a dramatic uptick in either cluelessness or belligerence among local motorists. For some reason, The Hammer is suddenly daydreaming about those old cowcatchers they used to put on the front of locomotives.

The Hammer is swung on Wednesdays and updated as needed.