The Hammer

The Hammer, Vol. VI

February 23, 2022 at 5:50 a.m.

Executive Editor

It Has Recently Come to Our Attention: In a discussion of the infamous “subdued excitement” catchphrase often attached to Bellingham, that the city has no apparent official motto. Whoa. Just when we were thinking no one would ever ask. 

How About: “It Ain't Semiahmoo, But You Can See it From Here.”

Maybe: “Four Words: Murder Hornets. You're Welcome.”

Or We're Still Considering: “Yes, the Kitchen Really iClosed.”

And This Longshot: “One Hammer Short of an Infill Tool Kit.”

Or: “Historic Freeway Onramps.”

Possibly This: “Pump Track Capitol of Western Whatcom County.”

Honorable Mention: “Acid Ballin' Since 1969.”

But All Likely Pale in Comparison To: “White Rock South.”

Serious Proposal: Send your own official motto ideas to Five best entries get amazing swag to be determined. And maybe a shoutout on Twitter.

Meanwhile, Just Wondering: Who gets called in when the folks at the Whatcom Dispute Resolution Center can’t agree on a lunch spot?

Just One Guess: It isn't the Bellingham Muni Court staff.

Speaking of Work: It sez here that many companies are instituting “flexible return to work” policies. This means it’s only for the yoga people, yes?

Speaking of Downward Dogs: Did we miss something here or did the county sheriff just double down on a new Whatcom County Jail, twice rejected by voters, with the added proviso that some new elevators be installed in the old one just in time for it to be demolished?

You’ve Got to Admit: Reliable elevators would make it much more convenient to place the explosive demolition charges when that big day comes. 

Urgent Trader Joe’s Alert: Canada, never as cooperative as it likes to seem, has announced looser border restrictions that go into effect on Monday. Get your lavender soap and bottled yellow curry while it’s still somewhat sane in the undersized parking lot.

OMG the Earth’s Axis Has Shifted: Not saying there is a direct connection, but the morning after The Hammer’s alter ego put out a column noting the long, long-standing speeding issues on Samish (Race) Way in the south end, a city crew dropped off a speed-gun unit along the road, reminding local motorists just how far over the posted 35 mph most of them are traveling.

Seriously: Never one to look a gift flashing radar in the mouth, the South End offers sincere thanks to Public Works. But a more-permanent attempt to keep speeds in check on this major thoroughfare needs to be nearer the top of someone’s agenda.

Meantime: We’re still waiting for some word on the case of the fleeing motorist who prompted all this by striking an elderly man on his riding lawnmower, who according to recent reports has been recovering from substantial injuries. (And yes, CDN has asked.)

And Finally: Looks like the Canadian government is prepping to seize the assets of the folks organizing those big trucker protests in Ottawa. Prediction: They're going to quickly become the world's largest single holder of official Canadian currency, Tim Cards.

The Hammer appears on Wednesdays and is updated throughout the week as needed. Got your own nail that needs hammering? Send thoughts to The Hammer's alter ego:
Have a news tip? Email or Call/Text 360-922-3092



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